i don't plan on having that self control this summer
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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