White coat. Heels.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you will always have a special place in my vag
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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