i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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