in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
