i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
