after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize