And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i think i just lost a toe
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
