Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
