I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
