im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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