I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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