just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
