you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
