Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
