If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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