I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize