the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
