she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
