no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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