I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
