I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
