I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
