No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
