I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
