he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
