I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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