Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
