she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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