It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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