And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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