I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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