those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
