That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
