By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
