Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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