Yo dont text me then not text me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
