Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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