So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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