i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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