There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
