Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
