Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
