guys are not supposed to queef...right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
