Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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