just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
