Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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