It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Found the puke drawer
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
