why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
