I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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