can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
