She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
