No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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