i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize