I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
