I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
