You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
