Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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