How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
