i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
