I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
