Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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