so that wasnt chicken after all
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
