if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
