Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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