BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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