I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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